


down on your knees

by kousanoes



Series: who bleeds what she cries [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: 2k words for one single conversation. wow this is what i'm spending my time on, Gen, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Post-Canon, Prison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23754316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kousanoes/pseuds/kousanoes
Summary: Ty Lee visits Azula in the Fire Palace prisons. Apologies are attempted, but not necessarily the right ones.
Relationships: Azula & Ty Lee (Avatar)
Series: who bleeds what she cries [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616512
Comments: 11
Kudos: 65





	down on your knees

**Author's Note:**

> _bangs pots and pans_ i hate online school so much!!!
> 
> is this unrealistic? probably. am i gonna post it anyway? yes. can i type anyway without misspelling it six times? no. i don't read enough poetry so the title is from _down on your knees_ by flora cash

As usual, she was right. Dear eldest brother becomes head of station, leader of the nation, King of tea, Fire Lord supreme. He frees the people who helped him overthrow his family. Obviously. 

Ty Lee comes to visit the Fire Palace prisons. 

She still hasn’t been released or moved, ugh. The guards won’t even talk to her; they’ve likely been warned or ordered against it. With her father gone, Azula doesn’t even have the pretense that she is not alone. 

Ty Lee wears a bright red grin plastered across her face, fake and falciform. It makes Azula want to vomit, never mind her empty stomach. 

But she can’t. Obviously. With the last of her strength, she scrounges up what’s left of her poise and her personality and her values and her identity to briefly piece herself back together. She doesn’t have enough energy to play her usual games, so she will just have to face Ty Lee head-on. 

Across the bars of the prison cell—the ones Azula’s sure she could break out of, if she really had, if she had a _purpose_ —Ty Lee looks down on her. The shadows cast by the torches across the prison hallway dance across her face, just barely unmasking her expression. Her jaw clenches and Azula wonders what, exactly, she came here to do. 

Then, she moves. Slowly—excruciatingly slowly—Ty Lee makes herself at home against the floor of the hallway before Azula’s cell. First, she kneels, then shifts to sit cross-legged. In a rather petty display of flexibility, her feet come to rest atop her knees. Azula says nothing, simply watching her. 

Ty Lee’s eyes search her face like she is taking careful inventory of every piece of her appearance. Is Ty Lee waiting for her to speak? Ridiculous. She came down here—to this mess of a prison—of her own volition. She owes Ty Lee nothing. 

Azula shifts her weight back and props up one leg. She drapes an arm across her knee, tilts her head; pose for her. Maybe then Ty Lee won’t want to kill her, and she can talk her into leaving. 

“Azula,” Ty Lee says. She opens her mouth and then closes it. 

“Ty Lee,” she responds, raising an eyebrow. It won’t be the same intimidating it used to be—not when Ty Lee's seen her at her worst, and even lower than that—but Azula can’t forego dignity now. 

In reality, her chest is collapsing in on itself. She’s having difficulty breathing; take slower, more controlled breaths. It’s heavy and small, but not serious—it’s not like she can’t breathe, she can—it just. Takes effort. She has simultaneously too much energy and too little. When was the last time she exerted herself at full strength? How long has it been since the Agni Kai, anyway? 

Too many questions. Focus on the issue at hand. 

“I was trying to convince Mai to come down here, but y’know her. She’s… a little busy.” Ty Lee tries for a grin, but it falls flat. That’s rather disappointing. Maybe Azula’s not the only one who’s taken a hit post-war. 

She shakes her head. “Enough with the rambling,” she snaps. “I will admit, I did not expect you to come to mock me. I would have expected it from Zuko, perhaps, or one of his friends, but not you.”

Selfless honesty is a rare sight from her mouth. Azula hopes Ty Lee understands that. 

Ty Lee’s smile falters a little. “I’m not here to mock you,” she says. She licks her lips, serious for once, and Azula tracks the movement with a bored eye. 

There is no point to this meeting. She should go. Azula says as much. 

“I just—” Ty Lee begins, and cuts herself off. She inhales once, sharp and quick. Azula takes careful note of the way she seems to be… shivering, is it? Trembling? “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Azula freezes, chokes on a laugh. When she regains her breath, she says, “And what, exactly, are you apologizing for?” She does not say _you owe me no apology_ , but she’s sure Ty Lee hears it all the same. 

Her own apology rests unsaid on her lips. She won’t say it. Not yet. Not until the pounding of her heart settles and she can think straight again. Not until she can think for herself. 

“I don’t,” Ty Lee agrees, and it feels different than all the other times she’s agreed with Azula. It hurts more, that’s it. Ty Lee straightens her back and looks Azula square in the eyes. “If anything, I think you owe me an apology, but I’m not here for that. I’m not here to demand an apology you’re not ready to give.” 

Her voice breaks as she continues: “I just wanted to say that in case you—you wanted to try being friends again. Real friends this time, not whatever manipulation scheme you were playing. I would—I would be OK with that. I can’t say the same for Mai, but I would be willing.” She swallows. “The Fire Nation—the court—we weren’t—we all didn't know much about friendship. And after I left the circus, I knew what was different. I could have done something, but I didn't. So that’s why I’m apologizing.” 

“Why are you telling me this now?” 

“The Kiyoshi warriors took me in,” she answers almost conversationally, if it weren’t for the underlying tension in her voice. “They forgave me, I guess, for when we fought them and hurt them and threw them in jail, and we became friends, the other girls and I. And I just thought—I was lucky, you know, that I was taught what friendship should be, not once, but twice. And I thought I could help you, because I did enjoy that party with you on the beach, despite everything.” 

Azula shakes her head. She wonders how much of that is a lie, how much of it is said simply because Ty Lee thinks it needs to be said. How much of it is said for her benefit, so that Azula will not come after Ty Lee when she gets out of this wretched cell? Because she will leave, someday, whether it’s under her dear eldest brother’s orders or her father’s sympathizers. “Did Zuko put you up to this? Or the Avatar? Tell them I’m not a victim. I’m not a damsel who needs saving.”

Ty Lee flushes, and Azula can’t tell whether it’s from embarrassment or anger. How much has changed for her to become this useless? 

“It’s not—You know, you always lauded yourself for knowing people, but really, Azula? You don’t know people at all. You can say you know what makes people tick or—or how to manipulate them, but you don’t _truly_ get anyone.” She holds Azula’s gaze and says, “Nobody put me up to this. They told me not to come. They said you were crazy and hopeless.” 

Azula raises an eyebrow. It’s easy to pretend her words don’t hurt. Her mouth is open to rebut when she stops. If she’s trying to get Ty Lee to leave, then arguing with her won’t do the trick. She better just let her say her piece. “I am.” 

Ty Lee exhales audibly. “OK,” she says, quietly. She purses her lips, almost pouting. It’s such a Ty Lee action that Azula finds herself missing her, missing simpler times. “OK, Azula. You don’t need to make this difficult, OK? I’m trying to help you.” 

Azula makes a mistake; she lets her emotions get the better of her. She’s been making a lot of mistakes, lately. “I didn't ask for your help. I don’t need your help.” 

Ty Lee swallows and heaves a sigh. Her fingers curl into fists, and Azula wonders, if they weren’t separated by iron bars, if she wasn’t _backstabbed_ , if she could pry Ty Lee's fingers apart and see the red-angry nail indents deep in her skin. She wonders how much has changed. 

Laugh, Azula, laugh; don’t be silly. Too much has changed for her to even dream, to fantasize. 

Ty Lee stands. Her hands are still clenched tight at her sides. Azula lifts her gaze to meet eyes. Ty Lee is fuming. 

“You always do this!” she shouts, before hastily lowering her voice. What’s there to be scared of? Ty Lee’s the one holding the power, here. “You always—ugh! You should be grateful I’m—I’m here, giving you a second chance, apologizing for something I quite frankly don’t need to be apologizing for!” 

Azula raises her eyebrows. She doesn’t even have to pretend. “You quite obviously _do_ feel the need to apologize, otherwise we wouldn’t be here, would we?” 

“I don’t want to hear it, Azula.” 

Anger. She can manage anger. Azula tilts her head back as if she were to look down on Ty Lee, despite staying seated. Ty Lee’s glare sears its way into Azula’s mind, never to be forgotten. “As I said: you just came here to boast, didn't you? Flaunt your freedom in front of your former oppressor? I did what I had to. I did what was necessary.” 

“Necessary for—necessary for what, Azula? A genocide?” At those words, Azula barks out a laugh, sides shaking, hands trembling. Ty Lee continues as if it were a prompt, “They told me, you know. They told me about—about what your father wanted to do, and you—”

Azula tunes it out. She can’t—she can’t. There’s so much to unpack, there. Did she not conquer Ba Sing Se without the loss of a single life, unlike her dearest uncle’s attempt? Even his liberation killed people. 

Fine, it’s not like she _hasn’t_ killed anyone. Everyone in the spirits-damned war had; even the pacifist Avatar, if she’s getting into the specifics. Fine, it’s not like she _wouldn’t_ , if she had to. But she didn't _try_ to. 

But that’s not what Ty Lee’s getting at, is it? She’s talking about Ozai. Fine, he tried to massacre the entire Earth Kingdom people, and she was willing to help him. Isn’t that what a filial daughter and heir is supposed to do? Isn’t that what he would have wanted her to do—something he’ll never explicitly say but she’s supposed to know anyway? How is she supposed to know that fidelity to her people, to her nation, to her own blood-and-soul, to her _father_ isn’t supposed to come first? 

There was only ever one thing she wanted, and that was his love. 

Who is there to tell her otherwise? Her own mother forsook her like the rest of her family did. What was left for her to do? Not to mention how Mai and Ty Lee left her too; there was the first time, and the last. 

It won’t happen again. She ignores the jolt—the blip—in Ty Lee’s expression. Nobody will betray her again; she’ll make sure of it. 

She needs to collect herself. Inhale. Exhale. She stretches her fingers. Ty Lee flinches. Oh. 

“Thank you,” she says, “but I don’t want your apology.” Her tone is carefully composed, each word painstakingly measured and doled out. There is something inside of her that still screams for perfection. She’s not sure it’ll ever leave, to be honest. 

Ty Lee exhales loudly, tension draining from her shoulders. They slump in an uncharacteristic manner—or perhaps characteristic; you haven’t seen her in so long. 

“OK,” she says. “OK then, Azula.” 

She straightens her back—strange, she never had a habit of slouching before, must be the aforementioned Kiyoshi warriors, though their postures seemed decent if Azula remembers correctly—and brushes off her clothes. Good on her. The prison floors are absolutely filthy; Azula’s convinced they never get cleaned. 

When that’s all said and done, Ty Lee turns to leave. Halfway through, she adds a hurried, “The offer stands for as long as you need it to, though,” before booking it. 

Azula doesn’t have the heart to laugh now. She just feels cold. 

**Author's Note:**

> please let me know what you think! hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> [tumblr](https://kousanoes.tumblr.com)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[PODFIC] down on your knees](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25738846) by [Oceantail Podfics (Oceantail)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oceantail/pseuds/Oceantail%20Podfics)




End file.
